How to support your child with self-harm
Self-harm is distressing for both young people and those who care for them. This behaviour is usually a way of coping with strong emotional feelings. However, the consequences can be serious, as repeated incidents of self-harm can lead to severe injury, scarring, medical conditions, and even accidental death. It is essential that young people receive the right support to help them to process their emotions in a healthier way.
What is self-harm?
NHS CAMHS defines self-harm as:
“when somebody deliberately damages or injures their body”.
It is a key sign that a young person is experiencing serious emotional distress, and is a way for them to release emotional pain that has become bottled up inside. Self-harm is not necessarily a sign that a young person is feeling suicidal, although it can be associated with suicidal feelings.
Why do young people self-harm?
Young people often struggle to explain why they self-harm. The triggers can be found in their environment or relationships, and will differ for every young person. However, some factors that often contribute to self-harm include:
Peer pressure
Exam pressure
Coping with difficult family relationships
Trauma and poor mental health
What are the different types of self-harm?
Self-harm takes many different forms, some of which can have serious medical consequences. Here are some of the ways that young people harm themselves:
Hitting and biting themselves
Scratching their skin
Banging their head
Pulling their hair
Engaging in physically risky behaviour, such as using drugs and alcohol
Self-strangulation
Cutting themselves with sharp knives or blades
What are the signs of self-harm?
Young people often go to great lengths to conceal their self-harming, and you may not be able to see their injuries. Some key warning signs that your child may be harming themselves are:
Wearing full coverage clothing, even in warm weather
Unexplained physical injuries such as cuts, scratches and burns
Ligature marks
Hair loss
Frequent illness
Low self esteem
Anxiety <hyperlink to anxiety article>
Low mood/depression
Remember - privacy is essential for self-harm, so becoming secretive and withdrawing from friends and family is a huge red flag that suggests something may be wrong with your child.
How can I help a young person who is self-harming?
Young people who are self-harming need help sooner rather than later. The key thing is to keep the lines of communication open: talk to your child often, ask how their day has been, and let them know you're there for them when they feel stressed or worried. It is tremendously difficult to see your child inflict injuries on themselves, but try to stay calm and listen to what they say - don’t judge them and do not blame yourself. What your child needs is reassurance, and encouragement and support to access professional help
Who do I contact for help with self-harming?
If you’re worried, the first step is to contact your GP who can refer your child to CAMHS (Child and adolescent mental health services) or a counsellor. You could also reach out directly to a counselling service that specialises in supporting young people.
Open Door is a leading provider of person-centred youth counselling, offering face-to-face sessions in Birmingham, and online sessions for young people across the country. If you need more support with anxiety and depression, contact us on 0121 454 1116 or find out more about our counselling services for children and young people.
The video above was commissioned by our partners at LionHeart for Children’s Mental Health Week. We are sharing it here in the hope that it will help those who are seeking to support young people with anxiety.
Carmel Mullan-Hartley is Chief Executive of Open Door Counselling