How to support your child with bullying
1 in 4 children now report that they are bullied on a regular basis, and the growth of internet and social media use means that cyber-bullying has also increased. Bullying can have a lasting impact on a young person's mental health, and parents need to understand the signs and effects of bullying to support our children and keep them safe.
What is bullying?
Put simply, bullying is behaviour that hurts someone. This can mean physically harming them, for example, slapping or pushing. It can also mean psychological harm, such as intimidating, or harassing someone, threatening and humiliating them, or calling them names. Bullying can happen through social media and gaming (cyber-bullying), text messages, and face-to-face interactions.
How can I tell if my child is being bullied?
Your child may not tell you if they are being bullied. This could be because they feel scared, embarrassed or ashamed, or fear that the bullying will get worse if they tell someone. They could even believe that no-one will care or understand. However, communication is more than words, and there are a number of signs which may suggest that your child is being bullied:
Physical signs
Unexplained loss or damage of personal items
Unexplained injuries such as cuts and bruises
Behavioural and emotional signs
Eating more (or less) than usual
Difficulty sleeping, and nightmares
Struggling in lessons
Changes to their friendship group and becoming isolated
Reduced self-esteem
Unexplained nervousness or anxiety
Self-harm and suicidal thoughts
Feeling unwell more often, and refusing to go to school
What should I do if my child tells me that they’re being bullied
It’s a big thing for a young person to disclose that they’re being bullied. As a parent, you’ll feel upset and angry for your child, but it’s important that you handle this tough conversation in the right way.
Listen to your child and reassure them that you'll do your best to keep them safe
Don’t judge, challenge, or blame them
Believe them and don’t minimise what they say
Ask them how you can help
The effects of bullying can be devastating for a young person. They include mental health difficulties, loss of friendships and support networks, and difficulty trusting people. Explore bullying with your child so they recognise what is happening and understand that it's not their fault. You could also try building their confidence through activities that they enjoy and spending time with people they trust.
Who can help if my child is being bullied?
It is crucial that young victims of bullying receive the right support at the right time. Start by talking to your child’s school- make them aware of the problem and who is involved, and ask them to take action. Some forms of bullying - including theft of items, physical assaults, and harassment - are crimes, so you may also need to contact the police.
If you are concerned that bullying is affecting your child’s mental health contact your GP who can refer them for support - your child's school may also have access to counsellors. Finally, you could reach out directly to a counselling service that works with young people.
Open Door is a leading provider of person-centred youth counselling, offering face-to-face sessions in Birmingham, and online sessions for young people across the country. If you need more support with anxiety and depression, contact us on 0121 454 1116 or find out more about our counselling services for children and young people.
The video above was commissioned by our partners at LionHeart for Children’s Mental Health Week. We are sharing it here in the hope that it will help those who are seeking to support young people with anxiety.
Colette Hartley is Business and Safeguarding Manager at Open Door Counselling